Firstly, I have done some housekeeping on the website. Regular events such as the Spring Runs, Reunions and more recently the Bo’ness Hill Climb Revival events can now be found in the Previous Events Section. Indeed the recent Bo’ness event has just been posted there today!
Dates for your Diary:
Latest News – It’s official! The next VSMA Reunion will be held in 2014 on Saturday 18th October in the Shawlands Hotel near Larkhall. The Directors were delighted when Boyd Tunnock agreed to sponsor this, our fifth Reunion. More details later, but for now put the date in your diary…………..SATURDAY, 18th OCTOBER, 2014
As reported in the last Newsletter the “2014 Spring Run” will be going back up north – to be based again at Grantown-on-Spey – this will be be our 5th spring run that Bob Baillie has organised – from FRIDAY 25 to SUNDAY 27th APRIL, 2014
Members’ Database Changes:
New email addresses are available for the following members – Alan and Audrey Carlaw, Walter Gray, Denis Scott and Charlie Young. In order to amend youryour address book these changes can be found in the Members and Details section.
Death of Members:
Since the July Newsletter, I am sad to report the death of three of our members – John Sword from Dullatar, Ian MacKay from Glasgow and Bruce Pettie from Stirling (originally Dumbarton). More details of these three, supplied by members, can be found in the “Past Veterans” Section.
I am delighted to welcome the Margaret Smillie, Milngavie and Derek Hastings, Elsrickle Biggar, into the VSMA fold.
Annual General Meeting:
Although some weeks off, you should put the date in your diary. The AGM will be held on FRIDAY 15th NOVEMBER, 2013. Boyd Tunnock has again given us the use of a room in his Uddingston factory to hold this event. Further details will be emailed to members nearer the time.
More YouTube Clips:
A few members have mentioned that they have appreciated the odd YouTube video I have included in the past Newsletter. So, here are a few more …. I hope you are entertained by them! Best to watch them in full screen.
Here is one which proves that it is not just lads who get up to extreme activities! This is worth a watch – Awesome Ladies
For lovers of Porsche cars here is a video giving a short history of their development from the North Carolina Museum of Art – Click here.
Just a quickie – but very funny – Girl adds oil to car!!!!
Amusing Stuff from Members: Mostly from James W. McI this time!
This is a gem
A woman friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English???.
Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We, of course, are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organise social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by paederasts.
Bed: Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.”
A tale from Scotland: An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so, the call went out. Finally, a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.
A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates.The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.He phoned the Arab & asked him: “I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money……… but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street.”
To this, the Arab replied: “Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins”.
That’s all folks………………. !
Stuart Parker, October 2013